Accio Chai Tea!

The summer people usually leave around Labor Day, so until next year I’ll probably be spared scenes like this: a grocery cart parked squarely across the entrance to the coffee and tea aisle, blocking anyone else from entering. A summer woman walking down the aisle, manicured finger pointing at the shelves while she mutters “chai tea, chai tea, chai tea, chai tea, chai tea.” She finds the chai tea, walks to the cart that’s blocking the aisle, throws the tea in and moves on to park her cart across the end of the next aisle. She walks down the aisle with her finger in the air, pointing at the shelves: “tomato paste, tomato paste, tomato paste, tomato paste, tomato paste.” Another aisle, blocked, finger in the air, pointing: “Dijon mustard, Dijon mustard, Dijon mustard, Dijon mustard, Dijon mustard.”

At this point I’m not sure if she’s blocking the end of the aisles on purpose to keep the local riffraff out while she does her mysterious shopping voodoo, or if it’s accidental and she just doesn’t know how grocery stores work.

Okay, summer lady:

1. We can all share the aisles. Really. We do it all the time.

2. Don’t glare at us when we move your cart to get down the aisle. You’re the asshole here.

3. Just look for it until you find it, or ask someone where it is. We don’t want to hear your little shopping chant all through the store.

4. If you’re trying to do a summoning charm, it’s “Accio chai tea!” And you can do it without blocking the aisle, Hermione.

Summer’s gone, but on the bright side, so are the summer people. So no more little dramas as the summer people grapple with issues involving shopping carts and aisles, beef, cheese and patience. A few will be back for ski vacations in December, but most of them will be gone until next summer. See you next year, summer people.