Roadkill Bill

The Montana legislature is finally getting to the important matters in doing the people’s business – making it legal to eat roadkill. Top five results of the roadkill bill:

5. Montana’s driver’s license test includes road rules, safety, and field dressing the carcass of your choice.

4. New tourism slogan: “Come for the scenery, stay for the bloated, fly-specked, buzzard-pecked elk steak!”

3. New deer crossing signs feature a knife and fork.

2. In an unrelated matter, a program that feeds the elderly has been renamed “Meals Under Wheels.”

1. Unofficial new state motto: “We’re all Honey Boo Boo now." 

Abbottabad = fun!

Top five fun facts about the amusement park being built in Abbottabad,Pakistan:

5. They don’t issue tourist maps – just keep looking for a few years and you’ll find it.

4. Popular ride for kiddies features the irritating theme song, “It’s a small jihad after all.”

3. Instead of the seven dwarves, it’s “Snow White and Seal Team Six.”

2. About its trademark attraction – well, let’s just say “you will get wet on this ride.”

1. Opens at 10 a.m., closes at zero dark thirty.