Summer People Vs. Beef

Summer people always think they can find the same luxury items they’re accustomed to in the big city out here in our little blue-collar town of 4,000 people. Dean was eying a rib-eye steak in the butcher case the other day, waiting his turn as the butcher, a blunt, irascible gray-haired guy who looks like he could take a side of beef apart without resorting to knives, served the summer people ahead of him.

Summer guy: “Is that free-range beef?”

Butcher: “Not any more.”

Summer guy: “What do you mean?”

Butcher: “I mean it ain’t ranging nowhere but my butcher case now.”

Summer guy: “But is it organic? Sometimes they say organic but the pasture where they graze is treated with chemicals. Were they all grass-fed, or fed grain and supplements too? How about bovine growth hormones or antibiotics?"

Butcher: “I dunno ‘bout all that stuff, but it’s grass-fed Angus. Damn fine beef.”

Summer guy looked doubtful. “Do you have any Wagyu beef?”

Butcher: “Not here, but if go about two miles west of town, there’s a ranch that can help you out. ‘Course it’s on the hoof.”

Summer guy: “On the hoof?”

Butcher: “Still walkin’ around. Still free-range, you might say.”

Summer guy’s looking a little nervous and confused by now. “Okay, ummm . . . do you have any prime rib?”

Butcher: “Yup. Twenty bucks a pound.”

Wow. The usual price for prime rib around here is $10 a pound, and on sale it's usually around $6.50.

The butcher leaned forward over his case with a conspiratorial, “you look like nice folks so I tell you what I’ll do” expression.

Butcher: “Tell ya what. Buy a nice hunk and I’ll make it fifteen bucks a pound.”

Summer guy: “Uh, sure. Okay.”

Summer guy took his overpriced prime rib and now it’s Dean’s turn. The butcher turns to him with a smile. Hey, a familiar face. A regular customer. A local. Dean always asks him to cut our prime rib (when it's on sale), and he likes it “nicely marbled, small fat cap.” To which the butcher always nods approvingly, as if to say, “there’s a guy who knows his meat.”

Butcher: “What can I do for you?”

Dean: “I’d like a nice rib-eye, good marbling, small fat rim.”

Butcher: “Sure thing,” as he reaches into the butcher case. “How ‘bout this one?”

Dean: “I dunno. What pasture was it raised in?”


Summer people also have issues with cheese and patience.