Saturday, December 3, 2016

Trump’s top five next phone calls

I used to think the next world war might be started by escalations of tensions in the Middle East, or North Korea having a bad day. Now I think it's more likely to be Donald Trump accidentally butt-dialing some random leader with nuclear weapons.

Trump's top five next phone calls:

5. Darth Vader. “Love that death star, big as a planet. Very bigly. Every country should have a death star.”

4. Sauron: “Where'd you get that big eye thing? It's yuuuge. Gotta get one of those for Trump Tower.”

3. Hans Gruber: “Some say you’re just a common thief. I think you’re a terrific thief. Exceptional, just terrific.”

2. Goldfinger: “You think that Oddjob fella could give my cabinet some henchmen lessons?”

1. Gru: “Hey, you’re despicable and I’m deplorable! We gotta get you into my cabinet. Hear you’re interested in the moon. How’d you like to be head of NASA?”

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