Top five places “missing” governors go:

5. Montana: “Where was I last week -- that’s a good question, son. By the way, have you seen my gun collection? Mighty fine, isn’t it? Now you wanna ask me that again, or do ya figure it’s my own damn business?”

4. California: Anywhere, as long as the travel agency will take an I.O.U.

3. Alaska: Anywhere, as long as the government pays for the trip.

2. North Dakota: off to do something crazy in an exotic foreign destination, like fishing in Manitoba.

1. South Dakota: North Dakota. “And bring yer money!”