5. “To those who have accused me of being a source of White House leaks, I’d like to say that except for that little incident in the Blue Room, I always make it to the Rose Garden in time.”
4. “Yeah, they changed my name from Charlie to Bo. Hey, call me whatever you want as long as you keep the Milk Bones coming.”
3. “I’ve been told I’m not allowed to bite journalists. Fortunately that doesn’t mean I can’t take a chunk out of Bill O’Reilly’s ass if I get the chance.”
2. “So I’m the big story, right? Little pup like me makes it to the big leagues, now I’m top dog, so to speak, the feel-good story of the week, the underdog who becomes a media sensation . . . what? Who the hell is Susan Boyle?”
1. “They had to buy me a new leash. There was one left behind in an office that used to belong to some guy named Cheney, but it had ‘Dubya’ stenciled on it.”
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