A Chicago man has opened a prison-themed hot dog stand that hires only ex-cons. Top five things on the menu:

5. Misdemeanor Weiner: sure it’ll give you indigestion, but you’ll only be in the bathroom for a few minutes.

4. Felony Frankfurter: for this one, you may be in for 10 – 20.

3. Hamburglary: served up in the window of the chuckwagon. If you can grab it and get away, it’s yours.

2. The Smokey Dog: priced in cigarettes.

1. And because it’s Illinois, the Blagojevich Bratwurst: better get a receipt, because even if the transaction is on tape, they’ll deny they ever tried to sell it to you.