Friday, April 11, 2008

"History will not judge this kindly . . . " Ya think?

It recently came to light that top administration officials met regularly to discuss in detail precisely what kinds of “enhanced interrogation techniques” could be used on detainees. This group was called . . . “The Principals.” Yeah, really. The world’s most powerful people convene in secret to lend an air of shadowy legitimacy to brutal and highly specific torture tactics, and that’s the best name they could come up with? They’re oh-so-creative when it comes to deciding which body parts to slap the electrodes on, and then . . . “The Principals?” Sounds like a group of middle-school bureaucrats defining the proper use of swirlies and atomic wedgies. How about something more SMERSH-y, SPECTRE-ish, KAOS-esque? These folks need a helping hand. Let’s just hope they don’t chop it off.

Alternative names for “The Principals”:

Condi’s Iron Maiden Roundtable – now with real iron maiden!
The Wet, Wild and Wacky White House Waterboarders
Who Wants to be a War Criminal?
Committee for Thinking of Things We’d Like to Do to Democrats
Dick Cheney’s Happytime Funtime Playtime Pals

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