Oh, the poor rich bankers. You do one little thing, like make some company transportation arrangements or spend a few bucks to perk up your office, and everyone gets all upset. And what are their girlfriends, wives and mistresses supposed to do in these tough times? Form a support group and blog about it, of course. Our top five this week is from the blog “Dating a Banker Anonymous.” Because when you’ve gone from obscenely rich to merely extremely rich, you need the support of others who feel your pain.

Top five ways the DABA bloggers are cutting back:

5. “My salary is no longer my own. It all will be spent on family expenses.”

4. “Bottle service is a thing of the past.”

3. “I’m switching from having my facials and massages in my downtown spa to a midtown place with ladies wearing pink jackets and lots of make-up giving facials only, once every six weeks instead of monthly.”

2. “It gets worse. I’ll now be doing my pilates with others, in class, on the mat instead of on the machines with my private instructor.”

1. “He wants to have dinner every night. By dinner I mean staying in and cooking. Seriously. It sucks.”

And then there’s this gem from a dumped mistress:

Dear Nancy,
I regret to inform you that I will be cutting you out of my life completely in FY09. Having just reviewed my entertainment spending for the month of December, I discovered that, while I spent an exorbitant amount on alcohol throughout the month, I spent an exorbitant-er amount when you were in my company.
Please note, this is a decision I make with a heavy heart, but it is a necessity. The amount I am spending on Nancy-related-boozing would be better served in mutual funds, an IRA or put towards a down payment on a home. The unfortunate fact is, Nancy-related-memories don’t accrue interest. Nor are they easy to remember.

Only a banker would dump his mistress at the start of the fiscal year.

And yes, I had to Google “bottle service.” I could only assume it was something Senator Vitter paid his hooker extra for.