Election night is to me what the World Series or Super Bowl is to a sports fan. I make a platter of party snacks, commandeer the remote control and skip around through all the news channels, and hop around online through the political blogosphere. But all the bullshit does start getting old by election day. Top five things I’m glad I won’t be hearing any more after Tuesday:

5. Lipstick, pigs, hockey moms, and Joe the Plumber, my friends.

4. “The _________ campaign has thrown _________ under the bus.”

3. Anything at all from profoundly stupid soon-to-be-former congresswoman Michele Bachmann.

2. A noun, a verb, and “maverick.”

1. “Karen, please stop yelling at the TV. You’re scaring the hell out of the dog.”