That dang librul lamestream social media’s being all mean to real Americans again. Remember those lame “you might be a redneck if . . .” jokes? No? Lucky you. But some commie on Facebook has started a variation on the theme: “you might be a tea partier if . . .” Damn Facebook. They should just change the name of that movie to “The Socialist Network.” Or, to be truly authentic, “The Socalest Netwerk.”
Top five signs you might be a tea partier:
5. If your cable service lost every channel except Fox News and you never noticed, you might be a tea partier.
4. If you cash your Social Security check to buy a ticket on public transportation to go to a rally in a public park and carry a sign saying “Keep guvermint out of my Medecare,” you might be a tea partier.
3. If you think Sarah Palin makes up words more gooder than Shakespeare, you might be a tea partier.
2. If you fiercely defend what you kinda sorta think maybe might be in the Constitution, you might be a tea partier.
1. If you vote for hooker-hirers, family-abandoners, closeted gay-bashers and serial adulterers – you know, the “family values” ticket – you might be a tea partier.
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