Why is it always the CEOs who suffer when disaster strikes? Like the poor hedge fund managers who had to sell their summer homes and are now reduced to renting in the Hamptons for the season. The investment bankers who can no longer afford a wife, a mistress and a rent boy. And of course poor BP CEO and inept, tone-deaf spokesperson Tony Hayward, who only wants his life back. Is that any reason for that big meanie Ed Schultz to call him "Tony Baloney" and make him cry?
Top five ways the gulf disaster has affected poor Tony Hayward:
5. Not only is he missing the World Cup, he has to listen to all these stupid Americans refer to the sport as “soccer.”
4. Completely perplexed by all those oil slick jokes that refer to something called “the cast of Jersey Shore.”
3. Due to differences in currencies, he has to keep converting damage estimates from dollars to “metric tons of cash.”
2. Due to differences in currencies, he has to keep converting BP profits from dollars to “metric assloads of cash.”
1. The postcard reading, “The top bunk is mine. Bring cigarettes. See you soon. Love, Bernie Madoff.”
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