American Journalism, RIP

Once the most trusted man in America and a television icon for decades, Walter Cronkite recently passed away at the age of 92. He was preceded in death by American journalism, which had been comatose for years and finally gave up the ghost the day Glenn Beck got a “news” show. Cronkite is survived by today’s most trusted newscaster in America, Jon Stewart.

Top five signs American journalism is dead:

5. Seriously. Jon “I do a fake news show” Stewart.

4. The frenzied 24-hour media coverage of a recent celebrity death. Why can’t they just let the Taco Bell chihuahua rest in peace?

3. The most important things to know about Obama, according to recent press stories: he throws like a girl, wears stupid jeans, and likes funny foreign mustard.

2. Birth certificate scandal! Just where WAS Lou Dobbs born, anyway?

1. “Hey Bob, got some kinda Egyptian story here and I gotta make a graphic. I dunno where Egypt should go on the map.”

“Just pick any of them foreign countries.”

“Won’t people notice if I get it wrong?”

“You do realize you work for Fox News, right?”



Bonus points if you can identify the country mislabled as Egypt. Anyone, anyone? Bueller? Because I guess you can't expect anyone at Fox News to be able to locate the country we've been at war with for six friggin' years on a map.